I feel badly about not posting yesterday and don't want to do it again

 I was sick yesterday. My stomach. No idea what it was from or what to do about it (and it's not completely better). But, I slept from 6:30 till 6:30 with a short break at 10:30 when I woke and wondered if I should do my writing for the day. My better sense (maybe/maybe not I will never know as I can't go backwards), told me to go back to bed, which I did.

What is interesting, is that my ACIM lesson for the day was "Sickness is a defense against the truth." I did it again today, and every time that I started to feel ill (headache, or stomach, or whatever, I used the patter of: "I have forgotten what I really am, for I mistook my body for myself. Sickness is a defense against the truth. But I am not a body. And my mind cannot attack. So I can not be sick.

Interestingly, when I used those words a number of times today, the 'thing' that was going on vanished. Until later tonight. I've been saying it, but I guess I am having a hard time remembering.

I am feeling unsettled in so many ways right now, and all I want is to feel better not just in body, but in mind.

I am aware that I am allowing this election, though it is over (it's not really unless Trump concedes because according to the constitution he can still steal the election through the electoral collage. A coup is still possible, and that is a more than disturbing thought. If you want to be disturbed too, you can go to YouTube and look for Van Jones' TED talk on concession). The good news is that there are things people can do to stop it. And I believe that we will because a lot of people love living in a democratic country run by kind people.

I think I have fallen down a rabbit hole and the only way out is through. So that is what I am doing. I will get done the things I need to get done, and I will hang in there because that is important. And I will keep writing here no matter what it looks like because I promised myself I would.

I wonder what would have happened if I'd walked to the computer at 10:30, nauseous, chest hurting, and all in all feeling pretty awful - I wonder if I had not let that stop me, what today would have been like.

It wasn't a bad day, but I wonder if it could have been a great day.

I think I am telling myself lies about not feeling well - not that I don't feel it in my body - but if ACIM is right, then I cannot let the lies take over. I have to stand up to them, like we have to stand up for our democracy, the most fragile, valuable, and wonderful form of government there is.

Bring back Kindness... I will get those signs printed.