My birthday is Thursday, but I got a few really nice cards today. Also, I wasn't feeling great when I woke up (actually it started last night), but I got up, did my Bemer routine, my Wim Hof breathing, my 1 minute rant, my 1 song dance party and my mediation before going to my slow motion weight training workout. I also walked a bit, but I cancelled my card playing because the women I play with are in their 90s, and even if all I have is a mild cold, I am not willing to give it to anyone, let alone my dear 90+ year old friends.
Staying home gave me a few more hours to play with, and gave me the ability to participate in a zoom I thought I would be missing. But this zoom... oh my God! It was the best thing since sliced whole grain English Muffins!
It's a zoom for the Inner U program - specifically the LOVE program. I gave up on love 25 years ago. I actually think I gave up on love before that, but at this point...
Suffice it to say that this zoom got me actually thinking that I MIGHT (and that is the operative word) be interested in actually playing with the idea of getting into a relationship again.
Now understand that I have not been in any kind of love relationship since my ex and I broke up... let's see... my daughter was 6 and is now almost 32... so its a few years ago. I have often thought of myself as Sister Nancy the Jew gone celibate (I apologize to my Catholic friends). Suffice it to say - I am using that word too much, but suffice it to say that I am scared shitless to even think about dating. But hell, this is a blog about miracles, so I have to assume that it is possible.
I'm in a much better mood today than yesterday, and that is a miracle considering that I again went off the food wagon tonight. I used Donald Trump as an excuse, but I really didn't need an excuse and I need to start being a lot more honest about my actions if I want to really live in what The Year of Miracles (another program) calls "The Miracle Zone." A Course in Miracles would also probably call it "The Miracle Zone."
In one of my birthday cards my friends sent me a great cartoon - Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen that has a picture of a woman looking through pages and pages of papers - some in her hand, some under her arms, some on her desk and it says: "Nancy attempts to locate the tracks of her train of thought." It was perfect. All I have to do is look at these blog posts to realize that my train of thought goes every which way but straight!
One of my homework assignments in Art and Soul Reloaded (by Pam Grout) is to "create some ritual to perform before you begin your projects."
I figured mine out. I am going to be coming up with mini Zentangles, and then a mini Nia routine, and a few minutes playing (or more accurately banging on) piano. It deals with all my senses - my mind playing with shapes and designs on paper, my body playing with shapes and designs as I "dance," and my hands and ears playing with sounds and rhythms. Then I will sit down and begin to allow my imagination to go full blown as I work with words to shape stories.
I am really happy about this and know that every thing I experience every day no matter what is carrying me on to the next thing for me to learn and understand and play with and have fun with.
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