Ah music - sometimes the lyrics just pop into my head at the end of a sentence I am writing and I just have to let the world in on my thoughts - thus the "like it like it yes I do..." (thank you Rolling Stones and rock n' roll)
So the next time I have a day kind of like today where I feel really good and don't quite know why except that I sing in the shower and dance all over the place and eat well and am gentle with myself and laugh easily... and have fun, I know that I just want to relish it as much as I can. I think I did that today, but I wonder if I can make it an even bigger deal inside of myself in order to "grow it."
Maybe it has to do with my Course in Miracles lesson for today: "Above all else I want to see things differently." Maybe all that entailed was being open to other options and not really "seeing" anything differently, per se, but realizing that there is joy and playfulness and fun in everything and anything and then just going with it.
I'm sure that is completely not helpful. But then, is another's positive trajectory and personal changes ever helpful to another other than the acknowledgement that if it's possible for one, it's possible for all?
It's so funny because I am really open to everything that is coming up tomorrow including a possibly difficult conversation that I need to have with a dear friend who is more like a brother to me. I won't write it here because he might read this and if he did, before I got to speak with him, that would be uncomfortable and unfair as well...
I love my morning routine and tomorrow I am going to get to walk with a friend on the phone. We will just talk (I'll have my headphones so anyone else on the trail doesn't have to hear my friend's part of the conversation). She'll be walking on her trail and I'll be walking on mine. So fun. So good. I am actually really looking forward to that and it feels different than in the past. There is no 'maybe I should be doing something else instead going on in my head.' That is a typical phrase and is what gets me into trouble - like I wrote about yesterday...
I just want to stay awake and aware and figure it all out... and that is totally wrong. I DON'T want to figure it out. I don't need to, I just want to appreciate it. I want to enjoy that that is what is going on. Before Marci Shimoff came out with her book Happy for No Reason, I actually had that experience. All I remember is that it was a nice day, I was walking down a street and realized that I was happy and then realized that there was no reason for my happiness and that made me feel so good I realized that that is what I wanted from then on... well, I didn't get it, but the experience has lingered, and today felt kind of like that.
Good things happened and I had fun, but my mood was not tied to any of them. What a blessing. Today was really very blessed indeed.
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