Who I really want to be is who I really am

So yesterday, I ended my post about 'taking care of myself vs. taking care of myself' with the lesson from A Course in Miracles "If I defend Myself I am attacked."

Last night I read that lesson and did the meditation. My problem with the course these days is that I've been interpreting to to be saying that I should just become a puppet of God's. Let God lead the way - ask what God wants me to do, etc. But since I've been studying the work of Abraham (Abraham-Hicks.com), I've come to believe that God and I are one - like REALLY - we are all God - there is nothing "out there" that is going to do it. We're it. OUR HIGHEST SELVES are it. not the little part that stubs its toe or is bratty or chicken-like, etc.  I don't want something out there to tell me what to do. And then, as I was reading and re-reading certain sections of the lesson it hit me... This was the statement: 

"A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to Wisdom that is not its own..." And then it hit me like the commercials "I could'a had a V8."

When I read it the first time, I read that 'I am a puppet to a force outside of myself,' but this time I read it as - very much like Abraham says - "I" am part of something greater than my mind is. My mind is not ME, and ME is part of God, (little self vs BIG SELF)... I was kind of reading it like I had no value and need to get messages from something outside of myself, and now I am interpreting as if it is the inner being me the Source Energy me that I am connecting with... 

Receiving this understanding yesterday made me ripe to receive clarity on other mis-interpretations that are against myself and others.

I often feel like I have to defend myself against the time share assholes and the jerks who are constantly calling and e-mailing me to give money to this cause or that cause or the other cause.

I am always fighting against something.

Then today, when I heard Joe Biden talk about being a president not just the people who voted for him, but also those who did not, and then talking about how strong, vigorous debates are good, but the purpose of our politics is not unrelenting warfare, but to solve problems. And then he said... we may be opponents, but we are not enemies. And I thought about how I'd been feeling. Vengeful, angry, revenge seeking, and I had to step back and realize that that is not me. That is not who I am or who I want to be. I want not to be an enemy to anyone even for a moment. I might have opposing views or desires, but the person asking something of me is not an enemy, but a co-habiting human on this planet. 

Again, from Harold and Maude (guess I need to watch this movie soon!), Maude was talking about loving people and saying they are her species. 

So thanks Joe for the reminder that everyone here is my species (not that we shouldn't also get along with other species as well - but that is a topic for another time). Having opposing views does not make us enemies. It gives us something to discuss. If I defend myself, I am attacked.